My mother died Saturday at 1 pm. Due to a blood infection caused by digestive problems and over run yeast due to antibiotics.
I watch my mother go from someone you could hold a conversation with, to someone who made no sense, to someone in a coma. I watched her suffer through all of this and prayed for a healing that never came. Some might ask: Why trust in a God that allows such suffering? One that would not even answer your prayers.
Satan tried to play out on these feelings but my foundation is strong enough to where I eventually shrugged them off. The Bible says that every person has an appointed time to live, and a appointed time to die. Knowing this I also knew it was my mother's time to meet Christ. And no prayer of mine was going to stop this. After all, why should I try and deprive my mother of seeing Christ and living a pain free life and living forever? So it is selfish for me to want what I wanted, and take away what someone else needs and deserves.
I watch my mother suffer through all that pain, fighting to breathe, fighting that pain, to the point it made me ill that there was nothing I could do except be there. I got mad at the nurses who seemed to want to do nothing. and the doctors who were afraid to do anything because of her age. It would be easy to blame someone. And there are many things I could have reasoned to do so. But if it's your time to go, there is nothing that can be done to stop it. It was my mother's time. Time to meet Jesus.
My mother went to church for many years. Taught children's church class. She was also a painter. She taught me many things about the Bible and had me go to church when I was young. She reminded people of their own mothers where ever she went. and often was called mom by children who did not even know her in stores, And even by adults that did not know her as well. I have been told by many that my mom is special, to me she was just mom. And now when she is gone. I realize what was special. So many people to call and tell of her death and how many people who grieve at her passing. People who only met her once and feel as if they have known her all their life. And some it was like their own mother had died.
Now I spend this week making funeral plans. Her brother and sister are in town. So many things to take care of. Now it's up to me to try and be strong as people come to pay their respects. I am happy and sad at the same time. I go from one emotion to the other like a light switch controls a light bulb. not really sure which emotion will come next. This is the hardest most stressful thing I have ever gone through. But I can tell it will make me stronger in my faith.
After watching my mother suffer so, I did not want to see her after she passed. I figured that her death would make her look a lot worse and I did not want to remember her like that. My sister and brother went and were curious as to why she look good and she had a huge grin on her face. I believe she saw Jesus and even through all that pain she went into the arms of Christ and could not help but to smile. She died in peace and love. What a way to leave this world. I know that one day I will see her again. So what would seem to be the worse day of my life, actually turns out to be wondrous and eye opening.
Death In The Family.
Posted 10 March 2010 - 11:08 PM
Posted 11 March 2010 - 12:05 AM
Wow, just think of the life she will have now? It is those of us left behind that grieve. Sounds like your Mum suffered alot intimately united with Jesus and the cross. Her new life in Christ will have been worth it many times over!
Thanks again and God bless you, especially at this time!
Posted 19 March 2010 - 10:31 AM
Posted 20 March 2010 - 04:05 AM
Thanks for everyone's kind words.
You're welcome Ike Hope you're managing ok! You seem to have a real spiritual strength and I hope I will have that too when I oneday face the same!
Take care and God bless you.
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