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Marxist Libs Are Interesting Creatures

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#1 Fred Williams

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Posted 20 April 2006 - 07:49 AM

I'm not sure of the source for this, but I thought it was hilarious:

The Marxist Lib are indeed interesting creatures. You yourself may have discovered one rummaging through the garbage in search of a handout, a government grant, and/or National Guard documents. Anthropologists believe early French settlers first brought these curious beings with them sometime in the late 1800’s. Here are just some of the many subspecies of marxise Liberal that have evolved in so short a time to infest this great land.

1. The Northeastern Greenback Liberal (Australofraidy-catcus) – This pasty-skinned, wealthy breed of Marxist Liberal can be found in the reclusive white enclaves of Massachusetts, New York, and other parts of the Northeastern United States. The Greenback is quick to espouse liberal views yet strangely unwilling to sacrifice or share his lavish lifestyle and wealth. He wouldn’t dare mingle with the “coloreds” yet his liberal white guilt forces him to sympathize with their plight. (See John Kerry)

2. The Pseudo-Intellectual (Australocondesecus) – This Marxist Liberal possesses an elevated sense of importance and moral superiority. He prides himself on being a torch bearer of tolerance and open-mindedness yet is quick to lash out and belittle those who disagree with him. His supposed pacifist tendencies are overshadowed by his often violent temper tantrums when confronted with an opposing viewpoint. The Intellectual is extremely bitter and resentful that society has not accepted his ideology, so it utilizes positions of influence as a soapbox for its agenda. Beware of the Intellectual for its name-calling and ad homonym are ruthless.

3. The Hollywood Lib (Australothankallyoulittlepeoplecus) – This rare species has fortunately only overpopulated the West Coast. Although small in relative numbers this strain is indeed the most belligerent and obnoxious of all the species of Lib. Their sheer arrogance leads them to believe that the American public actually cares what their position on certain issues is.

4. The Welfare Lib (Australogivmegivmegivmegivmegivmegivmegivmegivmegivmegivmegivmegivmecus) – The Welfare Lib is unflinching is its support for the candidate who promises the most material wealth for the least amount of work. Envious of those who are more productive and successful than him, this Lib feels entitled to other people’s wealth because “it be ig’nant.”

5. The Hippie Lib (Australodopecus) – More entertaining than anything, the Hippie Lib can be found roaming the streets outside of the RNC, chanting slogans in a drug induced haze. The Hippie Lib clings passionately onto the 60’s lifestyle of self-destruction and poor hygiene, so very few of us take this breed very seriously.

6. The America-Hater (Australotriatorcus) – This homegrown Lib despises the country, in which they were born, yet are unwilling to relocate to such socialist paradises as Cuba or China. The America Hater seems content with their niche here in racist, sexist, oppressive America.

7. The Gen X Lib (Australopublicschoolcus) – Forgive them for they know not what they do, say, or think. Anyway it’s all some one else’s fault. These naïve young Lib hatchlings are extremely belligerent and impressionable, believing anything MTV tells them. Gen X Libs often hate their parents and the good life that they’ve provided for them. Males tend not to find a job and move out on their own. Females are easily recognized by small ugly cars, large ugly tattoos, cigarette smoke, and cell phones. The females are the more industrious of the two. Often working a regular job during the day and a nude bar at night. They tend to experiment with lots of different “s@x partners.” These yuppie Lib descendants are generally dumbfounded as to why nobody will marry them.

[source unknown]

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Posted 20 April 2006 - 06:06 PM



#3 Cataclysm



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Posted 07 May 2006 - 02:19 AM

That's a great breakdown of the variants of the species.

I come across the "hippy-lib", alot, because of where I live, here, they are very "eco-friendly".

Then I encounter the Gen-X ers, they're my friends who went to public schools. They are more rehabilitable, IMO, than, say, the Hollywoods or Welfares.

The pseudo-intellectuals are the most annoying of the lot, they NEVER just shut up.

#4 chance


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Posted 07 May 2006 - 01:35 PM

The pseudo-intellectuals are the most annoying of the lot, they NEVER just shut up.

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You should read ‘1984’ by George Orwell, it parallels that thought (with explanation).

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